He uses pillows to masturbate.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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