Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
