dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
