this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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