I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
