Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
