I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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