guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
