life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize