so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
