In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
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