so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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