Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
