I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize