quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
