Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
