Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
