so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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