Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
