I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
