Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
