even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
