Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
