yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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