: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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