sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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