one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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