You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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