If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
