that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
