im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
