we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My breasts were aching with rage.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
