first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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