Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize