Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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