chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
