Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
