I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
