youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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