Tell her she can't have a vagina
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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