It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize