How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
