I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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