Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So much Jack, so little girl.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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