I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize