I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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