that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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