i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
