Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
