Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
