Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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