just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she told me i tasted like america
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
