Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
