I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
