this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
