I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
